I Need Him

Whenever we need to walk near a main thoroughfare, I always hold SJ's hand. But as soon as all intersections have been cleared, all roads crossed and the sound of speeding vehicles has dulled to a low hum....

He pipes up first, "Mommy, we're not on the road anymore. I can walk by myself." He wriggles his fingers to escape my grasp, and strides forward purposefully as if he has known how to walk for ages. Head held high, his gait takes on rhythm and his feet seem to chant... I can do it, yes, I can. I can do it, yes I can!

It is not his intent to stumble or fall, but sometimes he still does because his judgment is not perfect and three-year-olds are usually too busy enjoying life to pay attention to everything else on the periphery.

I smile inwardly, for I am consumed by thoughts about how similar my walk with Christ has been...

Through trying times, I have held on for dear life, depending on Him for my every breath. Then comes relief and I discover that I am not "on the road anymore". No rushing vehicles or crossings of any kind as far as my eyes can see.

I rush off into the unknown - I can do it, yes I can! - forgetting...

My judgment is not perfect.

It is not my intent to stumble or fall, but sometimes I still do.

Over time, I have learnt that I need Him... He who knows all and sees all. Every moment. In good times and bad. In sickness and health. For better...

Because I know what awaits me at the end of the road... and it is infinitely better.

I need Him. Not because I am afraid of stumbling, but because the conversation is so much better when I walk beside Him. :)

And if it ever seems that He is not right beside me? (Job 23:8-10 NKJV) Look! He is shouting encouragement from the finish line! He will finish what He started... HE will do it, yes, HE will!

Be blessed!

Down Memory Lane

For as long as I can remember, I have always been a bit unorthodox. No, I did not think of myself in those terms, but I got the feeling everyone else did.

I was in the third grade (at 7 years of age... don't ask) when I realised I was destined to be a bit of a misfit. I had been hit in the back by an older girl, who took away my snack, and I was caught in the midst of retaliating (I punched her and took it back :-O ) by my teacher, who decided that - whatever had happened (she didn't want the story) - we were both going to apologise. The aggressor said "Sorry", and they both waited expectantly for my response...

I did not miss a beat... "My mother says I'm not to lie, and I'm not sorry, so I'm not saying it."

Need I say that my teacher did a double take and delivered a fine whipping? I wonder why she never tried spanking my mother? There is a Jamaican saying that gives us the answer... "Cyaan ketch kwaaku, yuh ketch 'im shut!" Roughly translated, it means... if you are unable to catch [the suspect], grab his shirt [something of his, preferably of value].

The whipping changed nothing, and the hypocrisy of it all did not go unnoticed by my seven-year-old eyes. I did not yet know what I wanted to become, but I knew for sure who I was and I knew I was probably going to be in trouble with others for the rest of my short life.

Looking back with older eyes, I can now think of more diplomatic ways to articulate my thoughts, although I doubt I would have been spared the spanking. The reality is that truth is not popular, and it is more socially acceptable to keep your mouth shut and pretend to be happy just walking along with everyone else.

With time, I have found my centre of gravity in the life and teachings of Christ. He is like no one I have ever met. He asks me to shun sin, but He cherishes my individuality and uses my uniqueness for His glory. He asks me to stand up and be counted on the side of right, even if it means bucking the status quo (right up my alley ;) ).

In Him, I am still free to be me. Strange isn't it?

At His feet, there is no 'why can't you be like this or that one'... only 'Follow Me', because - although the path is the same - our gait and pace are not.

No 'do it like Sister Such-and-such'... only 'Go', because all work for the gospel's sake is His.

I love Him... don't you? :D

My three-year-old challenges my thinking everyday, and I see tiny slivers of my persona breaking through.

He asks questions. Hard questions. Uncomfortable questions even.

He speaks his mind, and we butt heads from time to time. One strong will against the other, and I keep praying for strength to get this right... to teach obedience without breaking the will or dictating to a conscience that should be subject only to Jehovah, to reward truthfulness and encourage expression of ideas, but - above all - to manifest the goodness of God in my discipline.


(As I was wrapping this up, I told SJ that I would be with him in a minute, when I've finished writing. His response? "Mommy, you're not writing... you're typing!" *sigh* Are mothers not allowed to make mistakes?)

It's Official!

Summer is past, and the land is cooling down!

Why am I excited? How can I not be positively enthralled by summer and all its bounty?

Well... it's not that I am summer's version of Scrooge at all. Quite the contrary... I like the warmth and the fruits that bear in abundance only at that time of year. I enjoy being able to schedule activities without having to wonder if it will be a 'washout'... and I definitely love the fact that DH is on vacation during that time (The 'honey-do' list gets whittled down a bit ;) ).

The passing of summer, however, presents other opportunities... especially for the frugal at heart. Call it stingy if you will, but I welcome the opportunity to hit "Off" on the fans and make less frequent visits to the refrigerator. (Our electricity bills go through the roof each summer. :-O )

There is also the matter of baking... cool temperatures lead to greater motivation for baking and other kitchen experiments. It is a proven fact that the cooler it gets, the more baking I do, and - for some reason - the less LPG I use. I haven't quite figured out the science behind that phenomenon, but it is great to be 'deliciously frugal' too.

Did I mention that the absence of unbearable heat makes blogging much easier? No? Oh... well, it does. :D

So, you see? A 'passing' is sometimes a good thing.



Be blessed!

Technology Shmecknology

This morning I received a message in my Yahoo! inbox that informed me that I had reactivated old Facebook account.

Now, that's odd! I thought.

Then I remembered that I had been having trouble with my Yahoo! account recently and my friends had been getting strange messages advertising weight loss pills (Thank God, no one was offended! #:-S). I changed all the related passwords - combining upper and lower case letters, numbers and symbols - and the problem was solved... at least for the time being. Truth be told, it even trips me up now! :-O

Anyway, I had forgotten about that FB account, and it seems that whoever hacked my Yahoo! account reactivated that FB account, since the passwords were exactly the same and the confirmation mail from FB was stored in one of my mail folders.

I followed the link from my inbox and logged in to the account (they had not changed the password yet) and I could hardly believe my eyes! I now had 'favourite' videos that I knew not of, 'friends' who seemed 'unscrupulous', and messages posted to my REAL friends walls that I had not sent!

So I set to work to right wrongs... changed the password, deleted every single friend and all my personal information (thankfully, not much), then searched for "how to permanently delete my account" and followed the instructions.

I received an email advising me that the account is now deactivated and awaiting deletion. The process could supposedly take two weeks. :-O

You know what the funny thing is....

I remember going through this exact, same, identical (get the idea?) process before! Why can I not just delete a dormant account without all this nonsense! Is Facebook is run by politicians?

Breathe deeply, breathe, breathe, breathe....



Ok... let me go get a cool drink of water. :-<

Do You Remember?

Remember the 'accidental' melon vine in my front yard? Numerous small fruit failed to make it through the heat of the summer, but - eventually - we had reason to hope. Not just that the fruit that looked so promising would survive long enough to ripen, but that - if it did - we would actually be able to reap it before the 'unofficial owners' who sometimes roam at night.

Well....

Praise the Lord!

A foretaste of heaven!

And...

Just to add some perspective... here it is beside the head of a very enthusiastic three-year-old. :D

A foggy view through a glass into the future, but - for me - it is enough.

As we share with our friends this Sabbath, I continue to look forward to the day when...

"They shall not build, and another inhabit; they shall not plant, and another eat... [Jehovah's] elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands." (Isa 65:22)

Living in hope,